The Military Spouse Guide

Your spouse (the service member, called the “sponsor”) must add you to DEERS at an ID card office (RAPIDS site). Both the sponsor and the new dependent should be present. If the sponsor cannot be there (deployed, TDY, etc.), they can complete DD Form 1172-2 in advance and submit it through the ID Card Office Online, allowing you to complete enrollment without them present. You cannot do initial enrollment entirely online. Bring: marriage certificate, your photo ID, your Social Security card, and the sponsor’s military ID (or DD Form 1172-2 if the sponsor is unavailable). Children need birth certificates and Social Security cards. You have 90 days from the date of marriage to enroll and make TRICARE elections. This clock starts automatically and the system will not warn you when it’s closing. After 90 days, you may have to wait for Open Season (November–December each year).

Once you’re in DEERS, you’ll receive a military dependent ID card. This card is your key to everything: base access, commissary, exchange, pharmacy, and proof of TRICARE eligibility. Keep it current. If it expires, you can still receive care by providing your SSN, but an expired card causes friction everywhere.

Being in DEERS makes you eligible for TRICARE, but you still need to enroll. Your options depend on your sponsor’s status:
Active duty families: TRICARE Prime (assigned doctor, referrals required, lowest cost) or TRICARE Select (choose your own provider, no referrals, higher copays). Active duty members themselves are always on Prime — this choice is for you and the kids.
Guard/Reserve: TRICARE Reserve Select (TRS) is available for a monthly premium if the member qualifies.
Enroll through milConnect or call your regional TRICARE contractor. Healthcare Comparison Guide →

Marriage, birth, divorce, PCS, retirement, separation — every major event requires a DEERS update. Never assume it updates automatically. A baby born needs to be registered in DEERS within 60 days with a birth certificate and Social Security card. A PCS requires an address update. A divorce requires removal. If DEERS is wrong, claims get denied, prescriptions get rejected, and coverage gaps appear.

TRICARE covers dependent children until age 21. If your child is a full-time student at an accredited college, coverage extends to age 23 — but you must update their student status in DEERS each year. If DEERS doesn’t reflect full-time enrollment, coverage stops at 21 with no warning. After age 23 (or 21 if not a student), your child can purchase TRICARE Young Adult (TYA), a premium-based plan that covers them until age 26. TYA is not automatic — they must enroll and pay monthly premiums. Don’t let your child age out of TRICARE without a plan; a gap in coverage can mean uninsured medical bills during college.

Base Pay — determined by rank and years of service. This is taxable.
BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) — pays for your housing based on rank, location, and dependent status. Tax-free. This is often a big part of total compensation.
BAS (Basic Allowance for Subsistence) — food allowance. Tax-free.
Special Pays — flight pay, hazardous duty, sea pay, combat pay, family separation allowance, etc.
TSP — the Thrift Savings Plan deduction. This is retirement savings. If your spouse is under BRS and contributing less than 5%, the government match is being left on the table. TSP Guide →
SGLI/FSGLI — life insurance premiums deducted automatically. Life Insurance Comparison →

If your spouse deploys, you’ll see Family Separation Allowance ($400/mo) appear. Combat zone pay becomes tax-free. Hostile fire pay ($225/mo) adds. The LES changes during deployment — know what to expect so you’re not surprised when the deposit amount shifts. Access LES through myPay (mypay.dfas.mil) — your spouse can set up access for you.

Your spouse is automatically covered at $500,000 unless they elected a lower amount or declined. This costs $25/month. You are listed as beneficiary during DEERS enrollment. Verify this. Log into SGLI Online Enrollment System (SOES) together and confirm the beneficiary designation and coverage amount. If your spouse is deployed and something happens, this is the immediate financial safety net.

Your life insurance as the spouse. Covers up to $100,000 on you. You’re automatically enrolled when your sponsor enrolls in SGLI. It also covers dependent children at $10,000 each at no cost. If something happens to you, this helps your service member manage childcare, bereavement leave, and household transition.

If your spouse retires from the military, they’ll be offered the Survivor Benefit Plan. SBP pays you up to 55% of their retirement pay if they die. The service member pays a monthly premium (6.5% of covered pay). This is the most important decision you’ll face at retirement. You must concur in writing if your spouse declines or reduces SBP — and once the election window closes, it’s generally permanent. Understand it before the retirement briefing. Survivor Benefits Guide →

With a Power of Attorney, you can submit SCRA interest rate reduction requests to creditors, invoke lease termination rights, and manage financial accounts on your spouse’s behalf during deployment. Get POA set up through the military legal assistance office on your installation — it’s free. Do this before deployment, not after.

Pre-service debts (credit cards, auto loans, mortgages) can be capped at 6% interest during active duty. Excess interest is permanently forgiven. You submit a written request to each creditor with a copy of your spouse’s orders. Full SCRA & MLA Guide →

Major card issuers (Amex, Chase, Citi, and others) waive annual fees entirely for active-duty members under SCRA. An Amex Platinum ($895/yr), Chase Sapphire Reserve ($795/yr), or Amex Gold ($325/yr) becomes free to carry. Contact each issuer’s military benefits line with your spouse’s orders. This is one of the most widely used SCRA benefits — and one of the easiest to invoke.

The Military Spouses Residency Relief Act lets you keep your spouse’s state of legal residence for income tax, voting, and vehicle registration purposes — even if you’re stationed in a different state. This can save thousands in state taxes if your domicile state has no income tax (TX, FL, NV, WA, etc.) while you’re stationed in a high-tax state.

You can break a residential lease without penalty when your spouse receives PCS orders, deployment orders of 90+ days, or separation/retirement orders. Provide written notice and a copy of the orders. The landlord cannot charge an early termination fee. This includes leases signed by you as the spouse.

Update DEERS address — do this immediately upon arrival at your new duty station. Your TRICARE region may change (East, West, or Overseas), which means a different contractor, different provider network, and possibly a need to re-enroll or select a new Primary Care Manager.

School enrollment and EFMP — if you have a child with special needs, the Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) is critical. EFMP ensures the military doesn’t assign your family to a location that can’t support your child’s medical or educational needs. Enroll before PCS, not after.

Spouse employment and professional licenses — PCS is the #1 career killer for military spouses. Look into: MSEP (Military Spouse Employment Partnership) for spouse-friendly employers, MyCAA (My Career Advancement Account) for up to $4,000 in education/training funding, and professional license portability under the SCRA (50 U.S.C. § 4025a) for licenses that transfer across state lines with PCS orders. Additionally, most states now have reciprocity or expedited licensing laws for military spouses in professions like nursing, teaching, real estate, cosmetology, and other regulated fields. Many states issue temporary licenses valid for 1–3 years while you complete any state-specific requirements. Check your new state’s licensing board before the PCS — some require application before arrival. The DOD maintains a State Policy Comparison Tool that lets you look up license reciprocity by state and profession.

Child care — request child care through the military child care system immediately. Waitlists are real. A PCS resets your position. Update your request after every move.

Don’t forget — update your vehicle registration and driver’s license (MSRRA may let you keep your domicile state), transfer prescriptions to a new military pharmacy, update allotments and direct deposit if banks change, and verify BAH at the new location (it changes with every zip code).

Power of Attorney — general and/or special POA through military legal assistance (free).
SGLI beneficiary — verify together in SOES. Confirm the amount ($500,000 max).
Emergency contacts — know your FRG (Family Readiness Group) point of contact, the unit ombudsman (Navy) or FRG leader, and the rear detachment or command duty officer number.
Red Cross messaging — in a family emergency, the American Red Cross (1-877-272-7337) is the official channel to reach a deployed service member. This is faster and more reliable than the chain of command for emergencies.
Wills and advance directives — military legal assistance prepares these for free.

Family Separation Allowance: $400/month when separated for 30+ days.
Hostile Fire/Imminent Danger Pay: $225/month in combat zones.
Combat Zone Tax Exclusion: all pay becomes tax-free (enlisted) or capped (officers). Your net deposit will look different. This is also the time to maximize Roth TSP contributions for the triple tax advantage. TSP Guide →

Military OneSource (1-800-342-9647) — free confidential counseling, financial consulting, and legal referrals. 24/7. No appointment needed.
Military and Family Life Counseling — face-to-face, on-installation, no records. For stress, relationship strain, parenting, or just the weight of managing everything alone.
TRICARE continues unchanged during deployment. Your coverage does not lapse.

This decision is made at retirement and is essentially permanent. SBP costs 6.5% of covered retirement pay, but it provides 55% of that pay to you for life if your spouse dies. If your spouse wants to decline or reduce SBP, you must concur in writing. Do not sign anything you don’t understand. Declining SBP means if your spouse dies, the pension stops. There is no coming back. Survivor Benefits Guide →

Retirement: TRICARE Prime and Select remain available (with premiums for Select). At 65, your sponsor enrolls in Medicare, and you transition to TRICARE For Life (requires Medicare Part A and Part B).
Separation (non-retirement): TRICARE ends. You have 180 days of transitional coverage under TAMP (Transitional Assistance Management Program) for involuntary separations. After that, you’ll need civilian insurance, employer coverage, or Marketplace plans. If your spouse gets rated 100% P&T by the VA, you may qualify for CHAMPVA. Healthcare Guide →

Your spouse should file a VA claim before or immediately after separation. You can help by: gathering medical records and service treatment records, documenting buddy/lay statements about conditions you’ve witnessed, keeping a timeline of symptoms and treatments, and attending the C&P exam (you can drive and wait; your presence matters). A higher rating means more tax-free monthly income for the family. Claim Filing Guide →

Post-9/11 GI Bill benefits can be transferred to a spouse or children if the service member has served at least 6 years and commits to 4 more. Transfer must be initiated while still serving through milConnect. Once they separate, the window closes. If your family is considering this, act before the DD-214 is signed. Education Benefits Calculator →

Most SCRA protections end at separation. The 6% interest cap on non-mortgage debts ends immediately. Credit card annual fee waivers end. Foreclosure protection lasts 12 months after. Know the timeline and plan accordingly — especially for premium credit cards (downgrade to no-fee versions before fees resume). SCRA & MLA Guide →

Your TRICARE eligibility after divorce depends on how long the marriage, the military service, and the overlap lasted:

20/20/20: If the marriage lasted at least 20 years, overlapping with at least 20 years of creditable military service, and at least 20 years of TRICARE eligibility overlap, the former spouse retains full TRICARE coverage for life, including commissary and exchange privileges. This is the full-benefit threshold.

20/20/15: If the overlap is at least 15 years but less than 20, the former spouse receives one year of transitional TRICARE after the divorce is final.

Below 15 years of overlap: TRICARE ends on the date the divorce is final. The former spouse can purchase CHCBP (Continued Health Care Benefit Program) for up to 36 months as a bridge to civilian coverage. The enrollment window is 60 days from loss of TRICARE eligibility — miss it and the option is gone. Healthcare Guide →

The Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act (USFSPA) allows state courts to treat military retirement pay as marital property subject to division in a divorce. This is not automatic — it must be ordered by the court and written into the divorce decree.

Maximum direct payment: DFAS can pay a former spouse up to 50% of disposable retired pay directly, but only if the 10/10 rule is met: at least 10 years of marriage overlapping with at least 10 years of creditable military service. If the overlap is less than 10 years, the court can still award a share of retirement pay, but the service member must make the payments — DFAS will not garnish and send directly.

Critical: The division applies to the pension at retirement, not at divorce. If your spouse hasn’t retired yet, the decree should include a formula for the future benefit. An attorney experienced in military divorce is essential here — the language in the decree must be precise or DFAS will reject it.

A former spouse can be designated as the SBP beneficiary if ordered by the court. This means if the retiree dies, the former spouse receives 55% of covered retired pay for life. This must be elected within one year of the divorce decree — either by the service member voluntarily or by deemed election through the court order. If the one-year window passes without action, the former spouse SBP option is lost permanently. If you believe SBP should be part of your decree, make sure your attorney addresses it explicitly. Survivor Benefits Guide →

The TSP can be divided in a divorce through a Retirement Benefits Court Order (RBCO) issued by the court and processed by the TSP. Like retirement pay, this must be specifically addressed in the decree. The TSP will not divide funds without a qualifying court order that meets their formatting requirements. TSP Guide →

DEERS: The former spouse must be removed from DEERS after the divorce is final (unless 20/20/20 eligible). The service member is responsible for updating DEERS, but the former spouse should verify.
ID card: Returned or reissued based on 20/20/20 eligibility.
Commissary and exchange: Access ends unless 20/20/20 is met.
SGLI beneficiary: Does not change automatically with divorce. The service member must update their beneficiary designation. If they don’t, the former spouse may still receive the benefit — or it may go to probate.
GI Bill transfer: If benefits were already transferred to the spouse, the transfer is irrevocable — it cannot be taken back, even after divorce. The former spouse retains the transferred months.

A Casualty Assistance Officer (CAO/CACO) will be assigned to you immediately upon notification. This person helps you navigate every benefit, every form, and every decision. You do not have to do this alone.

SGLI death benefit — up to $500,000, paid directly to you. Typically within days.
Death gratuity — $100,000, paid within 24–48 hours of notification.
DIC (Dependency and Indemnity Compensation) — $1,699.36/mo (2026) if the death is service-connected. Tax-free. For life (unless you remarry before age 55).
SBP — if enrolled, 55% of covered retirement pay. For life.
Education — Fry Scholarship (Post-9/11 GI Bill equivalent) and/or Chapter 35 DEA for dependents.

Page 214 has a comprehensive Survivor Benefits Guide that covers every benefit in detail, including DIC, SBP, SGLI, education, healthcare, home loans, burial benefits, and the Gold Star Families Act.